Laduzi Carpets

My recent Asia trip was very fun. I got a little sick, and my weakness compelled me to let the Asians write some of this short summary for me.

I disagreed with C. D. over whether Chaco brand sandals were a consumer monopoly or a fad. He thinks they're simply the next Tevas. I should probably defer to his judgment.

Philippine Airlines is the only carrier, to my knowledge, that gives the faintest hint of a damn whether my window shade is open.

The subject of conversation was evolution. Those present were: me, R., his mother, and his wonderful new wife, V. V., who is Filipino, asked with a straight face why Asians have squinty eyes. Tact prevented me from telling (or showing) that joke, but not from giggling spastically.

I'm such a "have."

A goocher: the morning of 16 February 2008, my mental chain of thought-associations led me to recall my final performance in my college Beginning Piano class. I had told my teacher I would try to play "Memory" from Cats, even though several easier pieces were equally acceptable. She was excited. Alas, I found it too hard and played "Careless Love" instead. Anyway, later that day, between touring the Ming Tombs and the Great Wall, my tourist group visited the Long Di jade factory, where they played a muzak rendition of "Memory." When the dawn breaks, tonight will be a memory, too.

C. R. and M. had advised me some weeks before I left on this trip to begin a probiotics regimen. I should have heeded their advice, as I now know well the meaning of laduzi. The design on my hotel room carpet so resembles a Gary Larson unicellular parasite that it's threatening to make me even sicker.

I was under the impression that as little as, like, twenty years ago, the bicycle was the preferred way of getting around Beijing. If this is the case, there must have been some heartbreaking property seizures since, because the city streets are plentiful and wide.

Between 1996 and 1999, the one-yuan note changed in design from one featuring two women who look like empresses of some kind to one featuring the same portrait of Chairman Mao that is on the 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100-notes. I don't know when the larger bills adopted the portrait; regardless, weird timing.