The Ten Greatest Movies of All Time
Does anybody have any data on People Magazine's sales, by issue? I'm sure somebody does, and since I am hereby making a public request for them on my WEBLOG, a powerful new information-sharing device that will overtake conventional journalism as the primary method of public information disbursal by 2011, it's only a matter of time before I have the facts, and as soon as I have them, I'll be sure to pass them along. But for now, let's continue merrily onward with semi-warranted conjecture . . .
I'll wager dollars to doughnuts that People Magazine's best-selling installments are those 50 Most Beautiful People ones. It is my belief that Americans, and quite possibly Europeans and miscellaneous, adore Top Ten, 25, 50, 100 . . . lists to the point of obsession. Let's face it: whatever it is you're into, you will stop and take notice when somebody puts out a Top Howevermany list about it. I think I've read 11 of Time's 100 greatest English-language novels, eight of The Modern Library's. I've seen 36 of the American Film Institute's Top 100 movies. So I'm by no means an expert (but what has the inception of the blogosphere done better than eliminate the importance of expertise?) but I am a fan, and that is enough for me to feel inexorably drawn to the lists.
Why?
It is blatantly obvious that other people have opinions wildly different from mine. We therefore have The Dave Matthews Band, supply-side economics, American Idol, something called Dave and Buster's, the war in Iraq, Wal Mart, and A History of Violence. But there's something special that happens when I see a Top 50 list.
Consider that the greatness of a movie, the profoundness of a book, the sexiness of a celebrity, the jammingness of a band, are subjective, and that these categories are enjoyed in large quantities (try estimating the number of movies you've seen in your life, N) by most Americans. It is a natural result that any individual's Top X list will vary wildly from almost every other individual's, where X is much lesser than N. The subjectivity of the list is doubtlessly inversely proportional to the level of expertise (that useless trait) of the list compiler.
Placing a movie (or what have you) as a TOP movie (or what have you; I'm just going to say "movie" from now on, okay?) carries meaningful heft, because it means it is better than all others (those farther down on the list and those not appearing at all). Therefore every Top X list is an emotional timebomb for even the casualest of interested parties, and possibly even more seductive to the more casually, less expertly, more subjectively interested. (Of course, experts would roll their eyes at most of our lists, but I imagine they've read enough uninformed and therefore terrible reviews to be de-sensitized to inanity.)
I think Ravenous (1999) belongs on any tasteful person's Top 100 Movies list (if not Top 20). If you see my Top 100 list, with Ravenous in all its glory at number 17, and The Matrix nowhere to be found, you are immediately upset at me for wasting my time by telling me that that piece of crap with one-dimensional characters was not only better than the sci-fi phenomenon of the 1990s, but that there are at least 83 movies in between them (there are more).
It's all because a) we have a vastly different pool of movies we've watched; b) what you think of a movie is entirely up to you, and cannot be in/validated by anyone; and c) when it comes to objective ways in which movies can be judged (editing, pacing, historical accuracy, plot contradictions, &c.), neither of us knows what on Earth we're talking about.
So let me conclude by blowing your mind with the thing I actually am likely more of an expert in than you, and to which your N is likely lower than my X:
John's Top Ten Rock Types
10 (don't you hate it when these lists start at number one? There's a reason these guys are movie pundits instead of movie makers). Rhyolite
9. Shale
8. Quartzite
7. Welded Tuff
6. Sandstone (arkose)
5. Garnet-rich Schist
4. Gabbro
3. Dolostone
2. Sandstone (quartzarenite)
1. Cryptalgal Laminite
Now, wasn't that the first Top Ten list you weren't at all compelled to read?
I'll wager dollars to doughnuts that People Magazine's best-selling installments are those 50 Most Beautiful People ones. It is my belief that Americans, and quite possibly Europeans and miscellaneous, adore Top Ten, 25, 50, 100 . . . lists to the point of obsession. Let's face it: whatever it is you're into, you will stop and take notice when somebody puts out a Top Howevermany list about it. I think I've read 11 of Time's 100 greatest English-language novels, eight of The Modern Library's. I've seen 36 of the American Film Institute's Top 100 movies. So I'm by no means an expert (but what has the inception of the blogosphere done better than eliminate the importance of expertise?) but I am a fan, and that is enough for me to feel inexorably drawn to the lists.
Why?
It is blatantly obvious that other people have opinions wildly different from mine. We therefore have The Dave Matthews Band, supply-side economics, American Idol, something called Dave and Buster's, the war in Iraq, Wal Mart, and A History of Violence. But there's something special that happens when I see a Top 50 list.
Consider that the greatness of a movie, the profoundness of a book, the sexiness of a celebrity, the jammingness of a band, are subjective, and that these categories are enjoyed in large quantities (try estimating the number of movies you've seen in your life, N) by most Americans. It is a natural result that any individual's Top X list will vary wildly from almost every other individual's, where X is much lesser than N. The subjectivity of the list is doubtlessly inversely proportional to the level of expertise (that useless trait) of the list compiler.
Placing a movie (or what have you) as a TOP movie (or what have you; I'm just going to say "movie" from now on, okay?) carries meaningful heft, because it means it is better than all others (those farther down on the list and those not appearing at all). Therefore every Top X list is an emotional timebomb for even the casualest of interested parties, and possibly even more seductive to the more casually, less expertly, more subjectively interested. (Of course, experts would roll their eyes at most of our lists, but I imagine they've read enough uninformed and therefore terrible reviews to be de-sensitized to inanity.)
I think Ravenous (1999) belongs on any tasteful person's Top 100 Movies list (if not Top 20). If you see my Top 100 list, with Ravenous in all its glory at number 17, and The Matrix nowhere to be found, you are immediately upset at me for wasting my time by telling me that that piece of crap with one-dimensional characters was not only better than the sci-fi phenomenon of the 1990s, but that there are at least 83 movies in between them (there are more).
It's all because a) we have a vastly different pool of movies we've watched; b) what you think of a movie is entirely up to you, and cannot be in/validated by anyone; and c) when it comes to objective ways in which movies can be judged (editing, pacing, historical accuracy, plot contradictions, &c.), neither of us knows what on Earth we're talking about.
So let me conclude by blowing your mind with the thing I actually am likely more of an expert in than you, and to which your N is likely lower than my X:
John's Top Ten Rock Types
10 (don't you hate it when these lists start at number one? There's a reason these guys are movie pundits instead of movie makers). Rhyolite
9. Shale
8. Quartzite
7. Welded Tuff
6. Sandstone (arkose)
5. Garnet-rich Schist
4. Gabbro
3. Dolostone
2. Sandstone (quartzarenite)
1. Cryptalgal Laminite
Now, wasn't that the first Top Ten list you weren't at all compelled to read?
posted by john at
10:38 AM
3 Comments:
Clever. And entertaining. I raise my mug to you, sir.
It's about time someone recognized Welded Tuff!
I'd put garnet amphibolite at #3, Llanite at #2, and pure forsterite at #1.
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